So today I needed some new oil paints and as I have a social conscience I thought I am not gonna buy them and contribute to the corporate machine I am going to get them for free, so I decided not to shop lift them, shoplifting is so 1980's I decided I would rob a church poor box and buy them with the cash of true believers.
So I thought hmmm St Paul's now that's a big old church they must have a huge poor box, so I got down there quick smart only to find the place was shut, he first time since the blitz!!!
There were all these protesters protesting about the banks and the credit crunch, I kind of sympathised but the credit crunch never actually affected me so I was being a bit hypocritical, so I thought I know I will sit in with them for a couple of days only to be told there were no Sauna or Spa facilities, and I would have to take a 15 minute walk to get my morning Frappuccino and pan au chocolat, rubbish!
But I did meet these lovely people who also have a thing for masks so it was a complete waste of time. And as for the oil paints, I got all 80's put on my leg warmers fashioned my locks into a great mullet and went and shoplifted them from Alantis! POWER TO THE PEOPLE!!!